That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
