i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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