Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
