Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
