My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
