Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
