Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
