i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize