I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's never too late to be topless.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
