You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize