So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She bit a glass in half.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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