At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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