Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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