tell your sister to shave her snatch
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
