do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
