please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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