Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Randomize
