sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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