Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want nice things and good sex
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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