it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
