i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
