Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
