Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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