im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
