i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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