So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
