I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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