thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
