my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
