i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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