You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize