I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I understand Curling. That high.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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