So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
