im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
