help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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