summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
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