Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it was like eating out sand paper
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
