Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
