she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
