Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
