So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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