Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
