You're earring is so big in my mouth
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
