giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
