Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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