Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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