Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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