Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
