She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize