I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
