i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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