How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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