we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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