you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
