Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize