Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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