wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
