I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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