what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
